international grief coach
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I’m reaching out to you today because in my experience, there is a lot of anxiety prior to healing your grief. It takes a lot of courage to even open up this web page. For some of you, you may not even believe that anything can help you through this grief. You may feel like, “Well, I’ll try but nothing else has worked. I don’t know how this will.” I understand that and you will see very quickly that I approach grief very differently. You will begin to understand this whether we are working together one-on-one, in my grief support groups, or at one of my speaking engagements. For today, I want you to do a bit of self-care. Do something for yourself or someone else. Take care of yourself. This will mean different things to different people. For some, it may mean taking a bath with a book. For others, it may mean walking around the block or baking a cake. This is not an assignment but a suggestion. Make a baby step, a small gesture to yourself, that somehow there is still love in the world even if you don’t feel it. |
heart strings memoriesI named my private practice, Heart Strings Memories, or Heart Strings for short. I did that because I learned a long time ago that nothing pulls at your heart strings more than the death or loss. Loss comes in many forms. Perhaps you lost the love of your life, your twin, parent, child, unborn child, pet, house, financial security, job, physical ability, health, dreams, or left the city or state that you loved. Loss comes in many forms. There are also secondary losses, things we lose as a result of our primary loss such as losing your support system, friends, identity, self-confidence, chosen lifestyle, security, sense of feeling safe, known family structure, the manner in which you now relate to friends or family members, the loss of your past and someone who owned that history, the loss of your future together, your sense of direction, trust in yourself to make decisions, your ability to focus, your communication partner, or your inner happiness and joy. Grief takes many forms but in the end, for most of us, the pain is overwhelming and we need to find the right combination of support and tools to help us move forward.
PRIVATE PRACTICEOne-on-One private sessions are available via telephone calls or Zoom. The first session is always free. You get to know me and I get to know you. Inquire on the Contact page. Grief Groups are available periodically on Zoom and locally. For Speaking Engagements, refer to that page on the website.
Surviving the Tides of Grief
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'“I remember sitting on the porch with my grandma. She had been in the garden and she was shucking or cutting beans and the mailman would come. "Go get the paper" she would tell me. I wasn't in school yet. After I got the paper, I had to read the comics. Not the news, the comics. And if I had trouble with a word, I'd spell it out to her and she would help me pronounce it. I could read very well when I started school at five years old. My grandma didn't have a formal education of any kind, you know but she taught me how to read. She was also a great story teller and I think that passed onto me.”
-Heart Strings' Patient |
learning to grieve
If you are anything like me, you learned how to grieve the hard way. You watched others around and incorporated it into your being. For me, my Czechoslovakian maternal great grandmother, Grandma Mary, died when I was 8 years old of esophageal cancer. I remember my grandmother nursing her at home until she died. The funeral was a blur. It was my first one and I really did not learn to grieve. Jump ahead to me being 24 years of age. My maternal grandmother, Grandma B as we called her, died. She was my everything! I was probably closer to Grandma B than anyone else in my life. It crushed me! I remember the year following her death like it was yesterday. Every day, I would drive an hour to work and an hour home. Every day, I would put in Amy Grant's cassette tape, Lead Me On, into the player and cry until I reached my destination. When I got back in the car, I put it back in and cried all the way home. It was my safe space. I didn't cry as a child. As a child from a very German family, my dad would repeatedly say, "Don't cry or I'll give you something to cry about." I didn't cry - not until Grandma B died and then the tears ran like a waterfall.
During my year of grief, my mom went to see our priest and ask him for help. I was anxious when she came home because I wanted help as well. I asked mom what he said. She waved a book in the air and noted that he told her to read this. I never read that book. Neither did my mom. Neither of us got help for our grief. We maneuvered through life the best we knew how with no one there to help us.
That was many years ago but I committed myself to helping others navigate their grief. I have studied diligently and have years of experience. You will remember your loved one when you too are at death's door but what you need to know most of all is that there are proven methods to help you move forward and find peace while moving forward with your loss. It's work, it takes time and you need support but the right support customized for your loss and your grief.
During my year of grief, my mom went to see our priest and ask him for help. I was anxious when she came home because I wanted help as well. I asked mom what he said. She waved a book in the air and noted that he told her to read this. I never read that book. Neither did my mom. Neither of us got help for our grief. We maneuvered through life the best we knew how with no one there to help us.
That was many years ago but I committed myself to helping others navigate their grief. I have studied diligently and have years of experience. You will remember your loved one when you too are at death's door but what you need to know most of all is that there are proven methods to help you move forward and find peace while moving forward with your loss. It's work, it takes time and you need support but the right support customized for your loss and your grief.
THE BENEFITS
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